The mean girl.
We all have an inner “mean girl.” It’s the voice in our head that says we’re not good enough, pretty enough, stunning enough, quiet enough, thin enough, and so on.
The Mean Girl sometimes tells us were too much: too loud, too exciting, too assertive, too sexy, too much of a woman, too much.
Yesterday I was driving, and I made a maneuver that didn’t allow a truck to cut in front of me on a narrow patch of road. The truck driver was in the “wrong,” and had I been alone in my car I would have felt pretty flippin’ amazing. It was legal, everyone was safe, the truck slowed down and pulled in behind my little Fiat. No big deal.
Alas, I wasn’t alone; my boyfriend was with me and my inner voice was having a hay day telling me that I was Too Assertive and that I should have been more Ladylike that men don’t like women who are Too Strong and Too Territorial. My inner Mean Girl was telling me that men wanted women who needed them, and clearly my driving stated that I could handle my own. That I didn’t need him.
Inner Mean Girl blew the scenario up into a large deal within the span of 2 seconds. She had me feeling a bit ashamed at how I cut that truck off, nearly running it off the road as I flipped him the bird and narrowly missed the bumper of the vehicle in front of me. And now my boyfriend and bestfriend was going to look at me like I’m an out of control maniac. (None of which happened.)
And then he said, “that was awesome. I am so happy right now.”
And Inner Mean Girl shut up. And once again I realized how silly it is to worry about others perception of us–do what makes us happy. Let people like you or dislike you. Whatever.
The right people will be drawn to you. The wrong ones will be repelled.
Let’s make a pact: stop trying to please other people.