Language is a powerful tool. Through our words, we can be encouraging or discouraging. Our words tend to be our self-fulfilling prophesy, so watch what you say:
- Talk about what you’re committed to (i.e. financial independence, a healthy weight) instead of what you’re trying to avoid (i.e. living paycheck-to-paycheck, feeling overweight)
- Stop making excuses. Making excuses just covers up feelings. Acknowledge the feelings with your words and experience the feelings with your body.
- Also, stop apologizing uselessly. Watch for the times you want to say I’m sorry, and internally ask if you actually need to say it.
- Tell people what you want, and let them hold you accountable.
- Keep clear boundaries and hold others accountable.
- Change what you’re thinking in your head. Your thoughts show you what internal beliefs you’re holding on to. Release your negative core beliefs.
Life reflects back to us our beliefs, thoughts, and words. It’s never the other way around! This is a powerful piece of what I coach in my Warrior programs: identifying our internal beliefs, noticing how they’ve affected our lives (neither “good” nor “bad,” just observing) and then practicing using language to step toward what we say we want in life.
What you focus on expands. Let’s try an experiment:
- Imagine you’re holding a glass of milk in your living room and Ms. Negative says, don’t spill the milk. What image enters your mind?
- How about this: you’re driving down the road and Ms. Negative says, don’t run into that mailbox. What are you imaging now?
Spilled milk and running into the mailbox, right? So when we focus on what we don’t like (limited funds, feeling chubby in the belly) we amplify and expand that image, those feelings, that reality.
You may not like where you are in life, but it’s familiar: you know how to cope with those challenges. There’s very little risk.
Weight lifters know this truth: to gain muscle, add another 5 pounds of weight to your bicep curl. When we grow, we feel like we’re doing more than we think we’re capable of.
Expect to feel a little uncomfortable when you experience a growth spurt–embrace it! Reframe your language around growth spurts to make it a facet of life to encourage, rather than moving into resistance.