I’m dealing with a bit of perfectionism today. (Well, “in this lifetime” is more accurate.) Brené Brown writes that healthy striving is asking “how can I be my best self?” where perfectionism is asking “what will other people think?” I founded a yoga studio 4 years ago. 1 year ago I got divorced and this past year I realize I’ve been trying to prove that I could make the studio work rather than stepping back and asking if I should–or if I really even wanted to.
The studio was my rock / anchor during the painful years of my marriage, and when I was released from my marriage the studio (and the teachers and massage therapists) felt like it was all suffocating me. But I was so focused on proving I could do it, in case “they” were watching me.
This week I am closing the studio, and I am trying to stay out of “what will other people think” and live in my integrity. It’s challenging, but this is my life right now. My usual mode of operating would be to isolate and to stay silent… instead, I’m giving this “vulnerable and courageous” thing a(nother) shot.